(insert squee noises and happy dance here).
passport is in hand, tickets are waiting online, bags are packed (well, besides the last minute stuff), and i’m ready to leave on a jet plane.
yes, it gets more obnoxious from here.
it’s been weeks of amazing awesome, crazy stress, fear, hope, everything in between. bottom line: when something is meant to happen, it WILL happen. i really do believe there’s a time and a reason for everything, hell, i have it tattoed on my body. but never more than the last few weeks has that believe PROVED itself.
going to london didn’t just happen. it took a bit of effort. it took a few large miracles. here’s a few of the dirty details:
passport: i got my passport just a few days ago back in June of 1997. just a few days. it had long since expired, i’ve moved...oh...a *FEW* times since then. how the hell was i going to find it to renew it, and would i be able to get it in time even with the expedited?
YES and YES. literally less than 2 minutes of looking i found the old passport. it was in a basket of random crap by my bed. don’t even know. went to the post office to renew it, took a new picture (which looks surprisingly good), paid the *ouch* expedited fee, sent it off and crossed my fingers. the told me it would take 2-3 weeks- three weeks would put it ON the day i was leaving. *panic*
EIGHT DAYS. that’s it. eight days and my new passport was in the mail waiting for me. the new one came in before the old one was returned. step one: completed.
plane ticket: i don’t know about anyone else, but i’m not the girl with an extra thousand just sitting around. i SHOULD be. i get that. savings accounts are nifty. but when you’re *just* starting to get regular paychecks again and you spent all your money on a house and repairs and life...well, it’s paycheck to paycheck around my house and last time i checked the trees in the yard are only fruit trees, not money trees. still working on that. so HOW did i manage a plane ticket to london?
i had a honda element that i was driving. good car, was my dream car at one point. researched it for years before buying one. drove it. loved it. started to hate it. REALLY HATED IT. simple little things: barn doors- nifty for moving/getting things in and out. HELL in a parking lot with a kiddo in the back seat. four seats: sounds cool, there’s only 3 of us, but what if the kids want to have a friend over? or what if i want to carpool with people? or if i’m going out to dinner with a friend and their kid? SCREWED. also: why does any car newer than 2000 NOT have heated side mirrors for winter time? and why do i only have TWO cup holders? little things make a big difference. great car, not for me. i’d been thinking about trading her in/selling her for quite a while. had her listed on craigslist several times. nothing. hmmm.
there’s a car lot two blocks away from my house with one of those “cash for cars” things written on the window. uh huh. i would love to be prison raped without lube, how did they know? thought i’d check it out just to see. drove onto the lot, drove off 3 hours later with a new car and $1700 in my pocket.
yeah. that happened. traded my 2010 element in, drove off with a 2010 dodge caliber- close to the same miles, more space, better gas mileage, LOVE driving the caliber. been looking at those since i started thinking about trading the element. here’s hoping another dream car doesn’t bite me in the ass. BUT. they paid me the difference of the trade in IN CASH. how often does that happen? seriously. no car payment, better car, cash in hand. LONDON PLANE TICKET PURCHASED. step two: complete.
so. i have my passport, i have my plane ticket- what else is there?
oh yeah- there’s ME.
i’ve been getting sick off on an for a few months. wake up at 2 in the morning, throw up a few time, sit around in pain for a few hours, go back to my life. thought i had it figured out- knew it happened after eating certain foods. just figured i was getting old. getting old sucks. then it started happening more often. with different foods. oh crap.
last monday it hit pretty bad. i finally did some research and thought i had it dialed in to my gallbladder. well. that sucks. what can you do? monday night was pretty rough. made it through. worried a little about the trip, but figured i had at least a few weeks, maybe a month before it would hit again if the pattern held (except the fact that it had already happened a few times in a few weeks...the OLD pattern...).
then it hit again friday night. BAD. well, shit. i can’t get on a plane if this is happening every few days. NOW WHAT?
i don’t have insurance. i can’t just call up, make an appointment, get checked out. i DID make an appointment with the community health clininc. for december 5th. well, shit. that’s not now. and that’s not before london. SHIT SHIT SHIT.
FUCK. FINE.
checked into an emergency room. the pain was the worst yet, it wasn’t going away, and it was twice in one week.
SEVEN, yes SEVEN hours later i checked out of the ER. bad news: it is indeed my gallbladder. as the ultrasound tech put it: you’re pretty packed full honey (stones).
GOOD NEWS: no infection. if i watch what i eat i *should* be good at least until my appointment on the 5th when i can check about financial aid to get the damn thing removed.
BETTER NEWS: i can still go to london.
THANK HEAVENS. somewhere around hour five in the ER i broke down in tears waiting for someone to see me. terrified i was going to have to cancel, have emergency surgery, all the worst case scenarios. that’s what three days of no sleep, extreme pain, and sitting in a shitty ER waiting room that long will do to you (to make matters worse: the TV was stuck on disney channel in the waiting room and BET in the exam room. why do they hate people so much?).
SO. passport: check. ticket: check. me: check (ish...i have pain meds just in case).
i started packing my bag last night. it’s getting real. less than 48 hours and i’ll be on a plane.
HOLY SHIT.
less than 48 hours.
i can’t even put into words how much i just want to SEE him. i mean texting is great, skype is fucking awesome. but to SEE him. IN PERSON. to be able to hug him. no time delay between texts, no crappy connection making skype freeze up. HIM. in front of me. after eight years. it might sound stupid, but it makes me tear up and my whole body aches. emotions this strong are a strange thing. especially for me. over a guy.
i’m trying really hard to just enjoy the fact that i’m going to london. i get to see england. 100 acre woods. alice in wonderland. beatrix potter. shakespeare. canterbury tales. all the things i studied and read about. this is where they happened. this is where they were created. i’ve always wanted to travel. and i am. and that in itself is so exciting.
i don’t want to put any expectations on anything else. i just want to go and see.
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| how could i say no to this adorable LuLu purse? |
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