ok kids. it is a well known fact that i have some seriously FUCKED UP conversations. i’ve been known to embarrass, shock, terrify, confound, offend, leave speechless, and make hot beverages shoot out noses.
it’s a gift. what can i say.
did you miss the conversation about shoulder blades? or the one about how i will NEVER go on a date with another guy from arizona? did you hear the conversation about how i wished i could make a coat out of my brother instead of cremating all his beautiful tattoos (he had two FULL sleeves and a full chest/stomach piece! it just made sense!)?
today kids. today we have another entry that easily makes it into the top three conversations OF ALL TIME. and it started simple enough:
i’m at work today talking to a coworker about a job that has just come in…it’s for some work down in adams county. thought i had remembered a buzz about a new prison going in down in that direction. turns out there is a prison closing down there…a women’s prison. conversation as follows:
me: what do they do with all the people when they close a prison?
him: put em down.
me: um…what? put em down? like when an animal shelter closes and they have to put down all the unadopted animals?
him: yup. if no one claims them by a certain date they just put em down.
not even kidding: this is the closest i’ve come to peeing myself at my desk i was laughing so fucking hard. i may have even snorted in the presence of said coworker. oh.em.gee. i’m still dying thinking about it.
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