_i_ have had enough

so. there's this thing about parenting that no one ever tells you. teenagers really do know more than us. and it's for one simple reason: for their whole childhood we, the parents, have watched all their damn tv shows with them. while the kids were developing, we the parents were slowly having our brains sucked out our ears.

don't believe me? take the SAT. now go watch 10 years of spongebob. now take the SAT again. i'm guessing you scored about the same as patrick. if you don't get that joke, i know you cheated and didn't really watch the required spongebob.

now. i'm a tolerant person. ok. that's a lie. i'm not tolerant at all. and i'm taking a stand! i'm sick of all these pain in the ass, iq sucking shows! whatever happened to carmen sandiego where you had to pay attention and know a bit of basic geography? what happened to math net? or reading between the lions? help me out here people! if i have to see these cheeky kids get into any more shenanigans...so help me!

the only way it could get better is if the talking studio heads help me out and throw me a parental bone every now and again. i've come up with some show suggestions that would make this a little more tolerable for me. and because i'm lazy, i totally stuck with the icarly theme. so here are shows i would like to see, shows that would help preserve my sanity another week:

i smoked week: we already know sam eats everything in sight. now explain why.

i popped my cherry: forget this stupid kissing crap. we know what teens are really doing.

i got chlamydia: a fun filled episode where we find out all three kids have the same std. who tagged an outsider?

i went to prom: this is the start of a three part episode.
episode one: i went to prom: complete with hidden flask in the garter and the after party at someone's lake house.
episode two: i got knocked up. pretty self explanatory.
episode three: i had an abortion. cause lets face it. no one wants to see a knocked up kid on a web show every week.

i stole your identity: we all know freddy is a secret hacker jacking people's online id and buying shit on porn sites with their credit cards.

i do time: you're telling me with all the hi jinx these kids have pulled they don't deserve a little juvy time?

i have sclerosis: spencer finally admits his "art" is horrible and starts hitting the bottle the way we all thought he was in the beginning.

i drop out and work at mcdonalds: we all know that's where sam's heading

HELP ME OUT NICKELODEON!