bet you didn't think i had any left to pop, did you?
this was my...fuck...i don't even know what to call it...drag racing? funny cars? something. i don't know. the thing where's there's a 1/4 mile track and all different cars see how loud and obnoxious they can be on it.
and something about speed.
it wasn't NASCAR. i know that much. straight track vs oval track. i did one of those races in oregon when i was a kid with my dad.
just now remembered that.
strange piece of flashback shrapnel.
i love you dad.
ANYTWADDLE.
the boyfriend invited me to go out to the race track with him this weekend.
there's SO MUCH i learned in one night.
first, it's LOUD.
i mean L.O.U.D.
i mean literal jet engines less than 100 yards away from you SCREAMING LOUD.
when we got there i was thinking: "hell, i've worked in a power plant, been around welding, fabrication, heavy equipment. i've been to concerts, motocross events, children's school concerts, how much worse could it be?"
answer: WHAT????
it was LOUD.
when you see burly "real men" (you know what i mean) walking around and they apparently can't afford a shirt but sure as hell can afford ear plugs and unabashedly wear them THE WHOLE TIME, you know it's loud.
at least MOST (not all, asshole parents) kids had noise cancelling headphones on thankfully. some did not. i'm guessing those are the same families where graduating the 3rd grade is still an accomplishment and all the edjumication anyone really needs.
to those kids i say this: next time ya'll go to a "fancy" dinner a chuck e cheese, WASH OFF THE STAMP. trust, whomever steals you is better than your asshole parents.
#2: i finally know who the assholes are that keep the flash/scratch "tattoo artists" in business. never in my life have i seen so many shitty tattoos in one place. yes, sir, that is a particularly spectacular loony tunes character. yes, i'm sure Yosemite Sam is your spirit guide.
now i do admit that i'm a bit of a tattoo snob. I KNOW: to each their own, and i'm sure that completely generic butterfly tramp stamp has all sorts of special meaning. i just can't help but be a firm believer in tattoos having a LITTLE bit of quality since it will be on your skin forever. i also can't help but believe that 2x2x$20 needs to die in scratcher hell. the sooner the better.
just because your buddy is "really good" at drawing and was able to mail order a machine DOES NOT mean you should let him permanently mar your skin in his kitchen on a drunken sunday night.
#3: ladies, you'll be glad to know: THE SCRUNCHIE IS STILL IN.
that's right. if you want a fancy pony tail, don't bother looking up ways to tease, part, pin, anything on pinterest. your answer is probably still hiding somewhere in the deep confines of your bathroom cabinet. nothing says SUPER SEXY like a wadded up piece of material that TOTALLY matches your outfit. that's right. just pull your severely damaged by box color hair up into a hasty mess somewhere between pebbles and softball player and secure with a nice scrunchie. BAM. victorias secret should be calling any time.
bonus points for rocking the side pony with a scrunchie. sadly, i did not see any of those. total disappointment.
#4: you're not a REAL couple until you have matching hair.
oh yeah.. MATCHING. HAIR.
his and hers, mid back, muddy brown electrical shock "curly" (i mean..i guess that's what it's closest to?) hair.
yeah.
THAT HAPPENED.
only thing i can even imagine that would be better is his and hers mullets. i've seen pictures, but to spot a pair of those in the wild would be nothing short of a miracle.
sadly, the boyfriend and i will never be a REAL couple. he's rocking the mr. clean look and i'm rocking an amazingly red mid shoulder length. drat. (seriously, not to brag, but this red is fucking amazing. i have the best colorist/stylist OF ALL TIME. see? it matches the octopus!).back to the list. #what the fuck ever.
auto racing? fucking COOL.
aside from the rednecks, aside from WAY too many people without shirts, aside from the shitty tattoos and over prices drinks ($6.50 for a water and a soda?? SERIOUSLY? after a $25 admission ticket??) racing is fucking cool to watch.
the cars are amazing to look at, the mechanics behind the races are mind-blowing (did you know they do a FULL ENGINE rebuild between every race?), the pit crews and spotters and teams are entrancing to watch, then there's the actual races.
the science behind burn outs, the conditions of the track, the weather, humidity, barometric pressure, EVERYTHING that goes into a 6.85 second race. it's fucking cool.
plus, some of them shoot fire.
i mean. FIRE.
it was a really fun night. watching the races, feeling the different engines (yes, you can FEEL some of them rattle you in the stands), just being OUT.
which is another thing. some intentional, some unintentional, i'm (sorry, sappy moment ahead) so grateful for my friends the last few weeks. from phone calls checking in, text messages, face book messages, people coming over for dinner or inviting me over to hang out, making plans, getting me out of the house, it's been a literal life saver the last several days.
sappy crap over.
RACING. if it's around you anywhere, go check it out. it really is a fun experience. i was told that i could even race my caliber on some of the open race nights...hmmm....
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This. Is. Awesome. As someone who went to an actual NASCAR race in 2007 in Vegas and has been dragged to the Yakima speedway with the in laws, I've had all of these same thoughts, most importantly: if you live the "blue collar" life which does not afford you things like good tattoos or good hair, how in the actual fuck can you afford your racing hobby? That shit is SO expensive!
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