well, you knew it was coming. along with the submission to
the horror that is online dating comes the tales of the stupid and scary and
plain WHAT THE FUCK.
this week its a seemingly innocuous thing that is actually a
HUGE affront to women.
here’s the run down:
guy with no picture in his profile contacts me. not such a
big issue- many people don’t have pictures for a variety of reasons- public
jobs (fire fighters, cops, politicians, etc), “screening out shallow people”, not
having a picture available (total bs by the way), etc.
this guy wants to take me out for a drink. standard-ish first
date idea. i prefer coffee or something where alcohol/behavioral altering substances
aren’t in play. i know. total prude.
i tell him that i don’t think the idea of a TOTALLY blind
date (no picture, few profile details, etc.) where alcohol is the main goal is a good
idea.
so he asks for my phone number to send me a picture.
HOLD UP. you CHOOSE to not post a picture (his reason was
that the guys at his work print/post profiles to harass each other and he doesn’t want
them to know he has a profile) to protect your privacy/safety but you expect
me to TOTALLY give mine up right off the bat?
you want me to give you my personal cell phone information
to send a picture? NOT SAFE.
he tries to play stupid- “what am I going to do
with your cell phone number?”
REALLY DUDE? REALLY? because facebook searches or google
searches by phone number TOTALLY don't exist. you won’t find all my personal
information, address, work, friends, etc from “just a cell phone”, yeah. sure. would
you like my social security number too?
now maybe i’m being a bit over reactive. my gut tells me i’m
not- especially since this guy WILL NOT LET UP.
last thursday when the drink invite happened i told him i was busy at
baseball practice for my son. he proceeded to message me every 20 minutes to
see if i was done and ready for a drink. i told him no in as many ways as i could
think of then stopped responding.
he messaged the next day to ask if i wanted
to get that drink- i told him i was at work then busy babysitting all weekend. so he
messaged to see if i wanted to stop by to say hi to him when i got off work or
go out for lunch or something else. again, i just stopped responding.
TODAY he
is right back at it again. at this point i’m just going to use the nifty little
block button since this guy just. doesn’t. get. it.
NO MEANS NO. not responding
means no. I MEAN NO.
it might not seem like much- not posting a picture may seem
reasonable. but using not posting a picture to troll for phone numbers? NO. its
dangerous and rude and creepy and just- its an asshole move guys.
asking
someone out to a drink- not always unreasonable. refusing to accept an answer?
NOT OK
less than a week back in the old dating pool and i've been
reminded SEVERAL times of how much chlorination the water needs. it’s
disgusting out here. seriously- degrading, disgusting, disheartening.
and i know the response- just GO OUT and meet people. uh huh. sure. you mean like baseball/hockey/arena football games? wine tasting events? concerts? grocery shopping? coffee shops? hell, i’ve even tried “singles mingle” events (someone tranquilize
me if i ever mention going to another of those again). i’m out there. i’m not
the most social person, but i will start a conversation with someone if i’m
interested (which rarely goes well, but that's a whole different problem).
i’m out there. i’m not HUNTING but i’m always open minded.
maybe i just need to get a burner phone or get comfortable
with passing out my information like acid stickers at Woodstock.
dating blows.
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