fishing. again.

well, you knew it was coming. along with the submission to the horror that is online dating comes the tales of the stupid and scary and plain WHAT THE FUCK.

this week its a seemingly innocuous thing that is actually a HUGE affront to women.

here’s the run down:

guy with no picture in his profile contacts me. not such a big issue- many people don’t have pictures for a variety of reasons- public jobs (fire fighters, cops, politicians, etc), “screening out shallow people”, not having a picture available (total bs by the way), etc.

this guy wants to take me out for a drink. standard-ish first date idea. i prefer coffee or something where alcohol/behavioral altering substances aren’t in play. i know. total prude.

i tell him that i don’t think the idea of a TOTALLY blind date (no picture, few profile details, etc.) where alcohol is the main goal is a good idea.

so he asks for my phone number to send me a picture.

HOLD UP. you CHOOSE to not post a picture (his reason was that the guys at his work print/post profiles to harass each other and he doesn’t want them to know he has a profile) to protect your privacy/safety but you expect me to TOTALLY give mine up right off the bat?

you want to meet me where there’s alcohol involved- not safe.

you want me to give you my personal cell phone information to send a picture? NOT SAFE.

he tries to play stupid- “what am I going to do with your cell phone number?”

REALLY DUDE? REALLY? because facebook searches or google searches by phone number TOTALLY don't exist. you won’t find all my personal information, address, work, friends, etc from “just a cell phone”, yeah. sure. would you like my social security number too?

now maybe i’m being a bit over reactive. my gut tells me i’m not- especially since this guy WILL NOT LET UP. 

last thursday when the drink invite happened i told him i was busy at baseball practice for my son. he proceeded to message me every 20 minutes to see if i was done and ready for a drink. i told him no in as many ways as i could think of then stopped responding.

he messaged the next day to ask if i wanted to get that drink- i told him i was at work then busy babysitting all weekend. so he messaged to see if i wanted to stop by to say hi to him when i got off work or go out for lunch or something else. again, i just stopped responding.

TODAY he is right back at it again. at this point i’m just going to use the nifty little block button since this guy just. doesn’t. get. it. 

NO MEANS NO. not responding means no. I MEAN NO.

it might not seem like much- not posting a picture may seem reasonable. but using not posting a picture to troll for phone numbers? NO. its dangerous and rude and creepy and just- its an asshole move guys.

asking someone out to a drink- not always unreasonable. refusing to accept an answer? NOT OK

less than a week back in the old dating pool and i've been reminded SEVERAL times of how much chlorination the water needs. it’s disgusting out here. seriously- degrading, disgusting, disheartening.

and i know the response- just GO OUT and meet people. uh huh. sure. you mean like baseball/hockey/arena football games? wine tasting events? concerts? grocery shopping? coffee shops? hell, i’ve even tried “singles mingle” events (someone tranquilize me if i ever mention going to another of those again). i’m out there. i’m not the most social person, but i will start a conversation with someone if i’m interested (which rarely goes well, but that's a whole different problem).

i’m out there. i’m not HUNTING but i’m always open minded.

maybe i just need to get a burner phone or get comfortable with passing out my information like acid stickers at Woodstock.

dating blows.