bitches on birth control (may contain TMI)

so. everyone is talking about birth control lately and i may as well jump on board.

I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH WOMEN ON BIRTH CONTROL.

see. here's my problem: i have pms. severe pms some months. legally insane enough to get away with murder pms. and i get the whole mess that goes along with it- increased (and sensitive) cup size, bad skin, narcolepsy, rage, uncontrollable cleaning, unhealthy chocolate consumption, flat out, unfiltered BITCH mode. when mother nature delivers my monthly gift she brings a whole fucking gift basket, not just one neatly wrapped gift.

what does this have to do with other women on birth control? THEY FUCK UP THE SYSTEM.

see. mother nature has a certain amount of gifts she has to deliver each month. and you know the bitch doesn't keep a receipt to return the unused ones. and you know she can't go back to the deepest core of hell until all of her gifts are delivered.

mother nature (from the tampax commercials)

so these lucky bitches on birth control, especially the ones who only have the once every four months birth control, don't get their monthly gift and it fucks up the system. mother nature is left with all these extra gift baskets she has to get rid of, and those of us poor suckers who can't take birth control (believe it or not it actually make me crazier) are stuck with the overflow. i get twice the crazy and rage and headaches because some of you were smart enough to find a loop hole in the system!

damn you women who are smarter than me!

you get to laugh as mother nature skips right on past your front porch and leaves TWO of her damn baskets on my porch.

*sigh* i should at least get double the chocolate and caffeine too.