ok. i’m going to start by shouting out random things that i want to make sure to cover, follow along: ultrasound, taco bell, tattoo, work, fish, the OTHER fish, therapy, friends

and go:

so. my oldest spawn has been feeling sick off and on for a little over a week. he’s had an upset tummy that’s gone north and south on him at the most random times- after eating, middle of the night, at school, sitting around doing nothing, out running errand...i haven’t been able to track it to food or activity or being particularly sick. he’s been complaining about how bad it hurts and it’s not getting better, so i decided to take him in to the doctor finally. first thing the doctor said: is he always this white? i laughed. see, we’re not just white people. we have to fucking TAN to reach white. casper the friendly ghost looks at us and goes DAMN BITCH, hit a beach once in a while! so it thought it was funny that the doctor pointed that out first.

anytwaddle. doc looks him over and can’t find anything, can’t pick out a pattern that i missed, a trigger that stands out so he orders a blood panel and an ultrasound. SPIFFY. at least it’s two days BEFORE i lose my insurance, not two days after. BUT. this means there’s only two days left of work and BOTH days i’m training my replacement which means _I_ can’t take spawn to the ultrasound. fuck. if i wait til i can take him there’s no insurance. but how do i work it while i still have it??? FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK.

rescued: friend was able to take the spawn to the ultrasound for me (that’s a whole story in itself). spawn eats a fat free (as much as possible) dinner the night before, fasts, yadda yadda, goes to the ultra sound (I’M NOT A GRANDMA!) pictures of his belly, the whole works, back to school, long story short his belly looks normal, we’re waiting for blood work. whatever.

THE POINT: spawn has a tummy ache for a week. doctor worthy. ultrasound worthy. what does he do as soon as the ultra sound is over? asks my friend to take him to taco bell for lunch. THEN, later at school to impress friends, he eats packets of hot sauce.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

*slowly counting to ten*

yeah. i think i know what the stomach problem is. fuck. all that stress for nothing.

so. there’s taco bell and ultrasound off the list.

TATTOO!! the sleeve is basically finished! well, half sleeve. and all but the shading! HOORAY! there’s pics on my facebook. if you don’t follow my facebook, you’re lame and you dont’ deserve to see pictures. just kidding...LOOK, PICTURES!

fish: which to start with? there’s TWO fish at work here...ummm...i’ll take door number one bob:

if you’ve been hiding under a rock, here’s a news flash: i quit my job. technically i turned in the notice back in november, but tomorrow is finally the actual last day! dear st peter on the crapper...what have i done? i’m actually doing this! it’s really here!

so, the good people in my department took me out to lunch today to say goodbye- SO FUCKING SWEET. really. i’ll miss the people a TON. boss even asked me today if i’m going to come back to keep doing meals on wheels with him one wednesday a month. SO SWEET. so lunch: my boss also bought me a going away gift: a picture. a really fucking cool picture. it’s two fish bowls next to each other. one has a bunch of fish, the other only has one fish. in between the two bowls is one fish in the process of jumping from one bowl to the other...in support of me jumping out into the unknown and taking a new path. HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT??

i’m really going to miss the people. not so much the work, i’m really excited for the whole doing my own thing, but the people...damn, there’s some wicked awesome people there. i’ll have to stop in and say hi every now and again.

now to the other fish. yes, i signed up on plentyoffish again. all for you people. you know you love the train wrecks. so. here i am all optimistic about meeting some freaks and getting some great stories for you guys. then i have to go find a normal one that i actually kinda might be liking a little bit. so. sorry about that everyone. i’ll let you know when the inevitable happens and it goes up in flames. i’m sure it will be spectacular!

so. a few weeks ago a friend an i were laughing about what a hot mess i am at times and he jokingly suggested that it would take years of therapy to fix me. i laughed. he didn’t realize i’ve been in therapy (off and on) since i was 17. more off than on, but since lpsing my dad i’ve been going every two weeks to figure this whole mess out. and guess what: I’M NORMAL well, as normal as anyone could expect given the fucked up family i was raised with and the shit that’s hit the fan since then. but that’s life, you know? we all have our issues and shit hands that have been dealt to us at times. the important thing is how you deal with it and and how you work through it all. big news: i learned something important about myself: I AM A GOOD COMMUNICATOR. i’ve tried. i’ve tried FOREVER to learn how to talk to people, to think things through, listen more than i speak, make sure that what i’m saying is what i truly mean, so many different things. i’ve had many friendships and relationships end because of arguments and what i thought was my inability to communicate. i realize now that is probably partially true, but i was trying my damndest. i still have a TON of learning to do, we all do, BUT, I AM GOOD. so. .there’s that. it was a nice boost. a little affirmation.

and finally: friends: they’re amazing. everyone should get some. yes, cop out. i got tired and got side tracked and forgot what i was going to say. there’s that excellent communication at work...ha ha. anytwaddle. friends are good, i’ll think of the point to this after some sleep and get back to you. but for now: here’s the tip of the day: if you ever feel the need to sneeze but it’s a bad time, picture a purple cow with pink spots. sneeze: GONE. so. there. you learned something.