umm...random

oh my. has it really been two weeks since my last post?

well. first things first:

LIFE SAVERS ARE AWESOME. seriously. when is the last time you enjoyed a good old fashioned life saver? i raided my kids left over stash of easter candy (not so much a left over stash as the stash i never let them have to begin with) and found a four pack of life savers. they’re awesome because a) THEY’RE LIFE SAVERS, and b) they keep me from munching on crap all day at my desk. BONUS!

ok. now. back to life: if you haven’t hear my curiously odd wonderings lately: i’ve lost 20 pounds. not sure how or why or from where, but according to the wii the last time i checked it i was in at 208. so. either the wii got tired of me yelling at it and decided to be nice for once, or this eating healthy, not eating out, eating smaller portions, not drinking crap soda all day thing is working. now just to solve the mystery of WHERE the 20 came from. SOME clothes fit better, some the same, some worse. so…i have no clue. it seems to be my thighs/hips since MOST (not all) of my jeans are feeling much baggier…i really have no clue. but the wii says i’ve lost it, so DAMN IT, i’m taking it! now imagine if i got back off my ass and started working out again…might have to actually do that. it was fun…but it takes energy…hmmm…

and now for the rant portion of the blog: I EFFING HATE BIKERS. this week is bike to work week AND I HATE BIKERS. seriously. i want to run them all over. and by all, i mean the two that encountered this morning on my way to work, but this is a rant, and a rant includes over generalizing, usually some form of stereotyping, and over all blaming the mass for the few. also: ITS MY RANT, MY RULES, SO BACK OFF. also: notice the word “effing” instead of dropping the REAL f bomb which i cherish and adore and use regularly. i couldn’t pollute my favorite word by including it in a sentence with bikers. THAT is how much i hate them. since when do they get to ignore all the traffic laws? SERIOUSLY? you want to run a stop sign AND a stop light? enjoy my bumper bitch. also: riding a bike DOES NOT mean you automatically get to wear spandex. thanks for visually assaulting my eyes that early in the morning. AND: really? you want to glare at me for driving a car during your effing bike to work week? I’M CARPOOLING THREE KIDS TO SCHOOL JACKASS. how the eff am i supposed to do that on a bike? I’M CARPOOLING. reducing emissions. reducing cars on the road. AND OBEYING TRAFFIC LAWS. suck it you effing bikers. this may be a long week.

i have a confession to make. i am the worlds WORST shopper. worst as in WORST. as in i can’t remember a damn thing when i shop. ~sigh~ it’s shameful. so. i went to walmart yesterday for basics: ended up coming home with the wrong…EVERYTHING. what is it about toothpaste? WHY CAN I NEVER REMEMBER WHICH BRAND? seriously. every. single. time. i come home with something different. crest? colgate? total? plus whitening? long lasting? plus scope? gel? paste? the only reason we ever have the same toothpaste twice in a row is because i notoriously shop in twos. so when i DO buy the wrong (different) thing, i buy TWO of them. and i try to remember what the box looked like…BUT THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME. and then just when you think you have it figured out you realize there’s a NEW and BETTER version of everything….holy crap people. just clean my teeth! and i try to remember which brand…i know i should write it down, but i never do. toilet paper: SAME THING. you get to the end of the package after a mega walmart pack and can’t remember which brand it was! why can’t they write the brand on the paper tube or something? seriously. after twelve DOUBLE rolls how the hell am i supposed to remember if it was the dog or the puppy or the creepy baby or the old quilting ladies? and there are some that are TERRIBLE about disintegrating half way through a wipe- YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, and there are others that you only have to use one sheet to sop up the entire pacific ocean…BUT I CAN NEVER REMEMBER WHICH IS WHICH. until i’m half way through a wipe…and then it’s too late. trash bags: wrong ones. paper towels: different brand. the only thing i CAN remember is laundry soap. tide. easy peasy. the orange bottle. DONE. oh crap…but is it the tide with febreeze? or the sports brand? or the cold water one? YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? no wonder i’m always stuck at walmart so dang long. it’s because i’m a complete and total shopping idiot. ~sigh~ i need a wife. isn’t that what they’re for? they remember all those details? and to do the dishes. which i also hate.

wow. two rants today. aren’t ya’ll lucky.

final thought for the day: PEPPERONI STICKS. yum.