look! it's a sharp tooth!

so. i have to write a blog today. i probably don't have the time to, but i have so much stuff in my head that i need to get it all out.

first up: gummy worms. have you opened a package lately? holy. sugar. rush. the smell alone is enough to send most people into a diabetic coma. then there's the actual partaking of said worm like food. who thought it was a good idea to shape a candy like a worm in the first place? it's fascinating to me. i remember growing up they had candy cigarettes too. smart. well done. getting generations of kids addicted to holding cigarette before they can even figure out how to work a lighter for the real ones (hell, i STILL can't work a lighter most of the time). anyway...gummy worms...they are horrible. you know they're horrible. but you still have to eat them if they're there. i don't know what it is. i found a package in the bottom of my purse today (still not sure how it got there...i think it's a leftover of the dinosaur show...more on that later). so, i found this package...and you HAVE to eat them if you find them. you HAVE to. so i cut the package open...good christmas. SUGAR. but they are "made with real fruit juice" so there you have it. they're perfectly healthy. one of my coworkers had one (because you have to if they're around) and made the comment that they're not the consistency of anything anyone should actually eat. i laughed because it's true. they're like jello after it's been left out and has that hard little edge on it. you shouldn't eat that part. but some smart person cut that part off, shaped it like a worm, and made it an attractive snack food. well done sir, whomever you might have been. well done.

ok. second. i know i wrote about the iphone application in my last blog, but i am STILL fascinated by the shaken baby app. i mean really? who was sitting around in a board room or an office trying to think of new applications and though...HEY...there's a lot of rednecks sitting out there wondering what the fastest, most efficient way to shake their girlfriend's baby to death is...we should make an app for THAT. and so they did. i mean REALLY?? yes, i will admit it's morbidly funny, but REALLY? an app? where you shake the phone till the baby's eyes are replaced with a great big X?? i mean COME ON. sure it's funny to do it to your friends simulation baby that they got in home ec class back in high school...you know it's going to screw their grade over BIG TIME, but that's not the same...is it?? okay, so that one is a "real" baby and this is just a phone...but still! is there a world record for fastest shaking time? a certain technique that helps you shake them faster (oh heavens...just had a flash back to the snl sketch with alec baldwin about shaking the wii-mote for whatever game that was). i just can't wrap my head around it. REALLY? with all the news reports lately about child abuse and shaken babies?? and you, oh great iphone, thought it would be good to put out a game that promotes that?? REALLY? i wonder if i can get a copy for my lg phone....hmmm....

so. i got to go see dinosaurs this weekend. like REAL dinosaurs. i know what you're thinking...they're extinct! yeah...that's what you thought! suckers! conspiracy theory! they were real, i swear! went and saw walking with dinosaurs at the yakima sundome this weekend. it's a super cool show put on by bbc that has life size dinosaurs they've created that walk around, attack each other, roar, fly, all of it (one of them even shat on stage after eating a bunch of plants...not kidding). the biggest one was the long neck (can you tell i paid attention and learned the real names?!?!) was 72' from nose to tail...FREAKING HUGE. it was pretty cool. the t-rex came out and fought with some of the other ones after they were picking on the baby t-rex...it really was amazing. all the kids loved it (even my niece who is only a few months old...she was giggling and jumping all over the place!), and the adults were all pretty damn impressed too! never thought i'd be into a dinosaur show. i feel like ross. only without the super greasy hair and obnoxious voice.

so. we got to see my niece and nephew this weekend obviously (thus the note about her giggling and jumping...see how that works?) i've forgotten how stinking cute babies are. first, she's super cool because she wears her hair like me. love her. my own fan already. ok. so she's only 5 months old and it's only like mine because it's all rubbed off in the back but they don't want to cut the long parts in the front...it's still cool! we all stayed the night at my dad's house saturday night (after the dinosaurs) and i heard her wake up in the middle of the night (mommy radar never goes away apparently). after listening to her fuss for about a half hour i figured no one else could hear her, so i went down to check on her...such a dolly. she snuggled right into my shoulder and cried and hiccuped for a while before falling back asleep...so i sat down in one of the rockers with her and we slept in the chair all night. i forgot how sweet baby snuggles like that are. awww...but can i just say i'm glad it was ONE night and i got to catch up on sleep again the next night...ha ha ha...cute for a minute, but i like my sleep! couldn't do it again! she was funny too...she's into the HEY...I HAVE A TONGUE phase...always sticking it out and chewing on it...freaking cracked me up. if you held her you were bound to be licked at some point. or drooled on. or spit up on. my nephew cracks me up to. that kid is funny. they have him on a super short leash when it comes to rules, but it's working for them and he's so stinking cute. my brother had taught him to repeat all sorts of great things...and just recently decided maybe they shouldn't watch "cops" together when my nephew pointed to the screen: "hey look, it's a dead guy!" NICE. well done.at the dino show he was so excited. he's been watching land before time to get ready for it, learning the different types of dinosaurs, all ready to go...and he was so excited to see them. didn't freak him out at all. sharp tooth! be a good memory for him.

on a serious note:

a friend of mine passed away a few weeks ago. it's shaken me quite a bit more than i thought it would. i've lost a few people in life, but nothing that's really hit home like this one. my nana died when i was in my teens. she was an adopted grandmother of sorts. i remember going to her house as a kid...grilled cheese and tomato soup. and she had milk-glass vases and dishes and everything all over her house. a few kids died while i was in high school, but i wasn't particularly close to any of them, it was sad but didn't really bother me. my step-grandmother died two summers ago. unexpected stroke. i guess it should have been more important since she was around more than my actual grandparents, but in all honestly, she was crazy (like drama queen crazy) and i couldn't really stand to be around her for very long.

i don't know why joshua's death is hitting so hard. we met probably close to two years ago...we went out a few times, he cooked me dinner one night (the only guy that's ever done that for me as a date). we would hang out, talk, nothing much, no serious relationship, hell, we never even slept together. he was a great guy though. such a great guy, crazy sense of humor, always laughing and making everyone around him laugh. he moved to arizona a while ago to work in the scrap metal business with his cousin. called me every now and again to chat and catch up. he had just moved back to town in october and called me in february to let me know he was back. we were planning lunch some time but scheduled never quite matched up. we weren't super close. i knew him but didn't know any of his friends or family (besides what i'd heard about them). it took me a few hours to find a phone number to call to find out if he'd really passed away or not (i work with his neighbor and she called me to ask if i knew about anything happening to him). the whole thing is just odd. he was only 38. died of a heart attack they think. it's just odd. you know? i was making plans with him just a few weeks ago, now it will never happen. and i think the thing is missing is that it was such a shock and there's not really anyone to talk to about it. i didn't know his friends, i missed his memorial service this weekend. it's just left out there. and honestly, even if i had been in town i don't know if i could have gone. a room full of strangers with one missing common connection. i did call one of his friends max (the one i finally reached that was able to confirm his death) and left a message to let him know how much joshua loved him. josh and i couldn't have a conversation without a story about max. i could tell how much they cared about each other. the last time we talked joshua was SO EXCITED because max and his partner had just found a surrogate to carry a baby for them. joshua had to have mentioned it at least three times. he was so stoked. and i had to let max know that. but where else to i say it? say how much he meant to me? he was the only guy i knew that names his car...and his couch...and his bed. he's the only person that i've ever know that owned and smoked from a hookah (cherry cola tobacco smelled so good). joshua had a movie script that he'd written a few years ago that he really wanted to publish...and it was a good script too. good storyline. and he laughed...he loved to laugh. and you had to laugh with him. so relaxed and fun to be around. i'll miss his random phone calls. every now and again i'd answer the phone and hear "hi sweetie!" he's the only one that ever called me that...or that i would ever let call me that! he could pull it off. he introduced me to the freaking awesome music of richard cheese. he told stories about traveling all over the world and made me want to jump on a plane. he loved his friends and had a huge group of people around him that he's been close to since he was a little kid...i was always jealous of that. he loved kids. he was a nanny of sorts for his friend with 5 kids and he loved talking about and spending time with those kids. his home was eclectic and comfortable, you felt instantly at home there. he was always coming up with a new idea or a new project. he was going to start a business in spokane called onesource that would be a rival for kinkos but ended up moving to arizona to help out his cousin. the last time i talked to him he was in the process of buying a hot dog stand to open up near gonzaga. a fucking hotdog stand. who does that? it was so crazy and so logical and so joshua. college kids...cheap, easy hot dogs on the way to class...fucking genius. he was always on the go and always full of ideas and projects. he didn't want to be tied down or attached to anyone in particular, something i could completely understand and relate to. he talked about a girlfriend that was living with him helping pay the bills during the transition from arizona back to here, but he couldn't wait to kick her to the curb and have his place all back to himself again (oddly, she introduced herself as his girlfriend the first time she called me to tell me about his death and then introduced herself as his fiancee' the second time she called to let me know...odd...were they really engaged? or did she change it because it sounds better to say fiancee' when you're calling people than "girlfriend"??). he was just so young you know? and i guess he always seemed way too full of life to have it just disappear so suddenly like that. i'll miss him so much. we weren't that close, we didn't spend a ton of time together, but i'll miss him.

ugh.

okay. have to change the topic.

so. i've been reading a book of bizarre facts and stories. one of the things under the music session was an annual festival in tennessee that was for non-musical instruments which i think is a fan-fucking-tastic idea. how much fun would that be? it said they had people that played fire alarm bells, rain tubs, all sorts of things. think of how fun that could be. anything you can make a noise with or tap out a rhythm on. i think it would be a blast to see what people come up with. if you know of anyone having a non-musical instrument jam, let me know, i would totally love to go! also in the bizarre book of facts: everyone has a unique tongue print. i never knew that before. hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is the fear of long words (huh...nice short name for that fear), geliophobia is the fear of laughter, graphophobia is the fear of writing (maybe i should get checked for this one), scolionophobia is the fear of school (don't let my oldest one know this...he'll totally try to use it), venustraphobia is the fear of beautiful women (many people have been known to tremble in my presence, this explains it.) so. that's enough for one day i think. i want ice cream.