let the search begin!

so. if you follow my twitter or Facebook, I posted the other day about wanting a REAL date during the much anticipated mommy vacation. three weeks of "grown up" time all to myself deserves a real date.

then I thought. yes, thought usually follows AFTER most post.

I have several events coming up that it would be nice to not have to attend alone. there's a fundraising cruise in August, my birthday and the magazine launch party in September, and I know there's something else I'm forgetting...

so: I see my real date and I raises myself a boyfriend.

not sure how exactly this will happen short of a pretty woman arrangement, and since I'm poor ass broke that isn't even really an option...

so here's the details:

August-October. possible early release. just need it long enough to look legit. bonus: he gets out before the holiday season AND gets to attend some fucking amazing events.

must be able to be on a boat and handle his alcohol, dress up in a tux (owned or rented), and must lavish the appropriate amount of attention on the actual birthday (strict no gifts policy). must be able to blend with several different groups of people and have an appropriate sense of humor to cover up for my often not appropriate jokes.

the first three weeks will be kid free so plenty of time will be available. after that its a crap shoot with back to school, work, and everything leading up to the launch party.

skills of dancing, cooking are a bonus, appreciation of good coffee and wine requested.

basic life skills (job, transportation, hygiene) are non-negotiable. between 30-45 requested, exceptions considered but must bring something outstanding to the table.

in return he gets to spend time with me. so. I mean...what more does he need?

if this succeeds, it would be my third longest relationship EVER. he may get a trophy at the end.

SO. now accepting applications.