of toothbrushes and men...

i’m sure you’re all sick already of hearing about the new guy already, but SUCK IT. i’m gonna do it again anyway…kinda.

more to the point: i have a hard time defining things. and i know not everything needs a definition, but I LIKE THEM. okay?

so. new guy: this isn’t a forever thing. it’s an “until it’s over” thing. we’ve already talked about getting too involved and being careful about emotions and all that crap since we both know it isn’t a forever thing. TRUST: several conversations on this have already happened. in a week. which has a tendency to make one wonder…

what’s that old saying? “before you try to convince anyone else, be sure you are convinced, and if you cannot convince yourself, drop the subject.” john henry patterson

who is he (are we) trying to convince? are we trying to convince ourselves or each other that we’re not getting attached? or both? is it possible to be attached after only a week (11 days, but who's counting...)? (ps: i did not just take the time to count the actual number of day. i will deny it FOREVER. hush up).

back to the point- i have a problem defining things. more specifically, i have a problem defining “attached” or “dating” or *yikes* “boyfriend”. the b-word…that’s a REALLY BIG word for me to drop…and i’ve retracted it since i thought about having to use it last week. at first i was all worried about the cultural aspect of things and needing things to be all status quo…yeah…not worried about that any more…so the b-word is still waiting to be dropped…back burner for that particular word…BUT…distracted again: defining things: attachments:

HERE’S MY RULE ABOUT ATTACHMENT:

it’s not serious until there’s a toothbrush involved.

crazy? yes. BUT, it makes perfect sense. it’s all fun and games until someone is staying at your house long enough to need a toothbrush. that implies that they’re there for a while. either that or they’re OCD about brushing. either way. if someone is at you house for enough consecutive time to need to brush their teeth THEN it’s an issue about getting attached.

a quick shower after sex? not a big deal. or a quick shower after work before heading on a date…same thing. staying overnight/breakfast in bed? it’s ok as long as they don’t stay through lunch because eating before brushing in the morning is acceptable but to make it all the way through til lunch? not so much.

an evening quickie and gone in the morning to get ready for work? PERFECTLY FINE. an evening quickie (or *cough* you know...not so quick *ahem*), sleeping over, then getting ready for work at your house, toothbrush and all? DANGER PANDAS!

pajamas for staying over? fine…i have an empty drawer…just make sure you leave in the morning like a good boy does BEFORE the brushing of the teeth.

see, it all revolves around the toothbrush. a toothbrush is a SERIOUS commitment people! i can count on TWO fingers the number of boys (of the grown up kind you understand) who have had toothbrushes in my house. TWO FINGERS. this is a big ticket item!

and see, the new guy and i (SERIOUSLY PEOPLE…HELP ME COME UP WITH A NAME FOR HIM ALREADY) have been joking (half joke/half serious) about him staying with me full nights while the spawns are gone the next two weeks…it’s all good and do-able (*snork* do-able…it’s a sex joke…get it?) AS LONG AS HE GOES HOME IN THE MORNING TO GET READY. NO TOOTHBRUSHES ALLOWED. although…he is a smoker…so a toothbrush might be handy…i mean…considering…no…wait…

NO TOOTHBRUSHES ALLOWED.

ps: if anyone can find this toothbrush holder for me, i will HEART YOU FOREVER.