i'm a mama bear

so. yesterday my older son had a symposium at school. each student picked out an historical person, researched them, designed a web page with the information, and had to put together a costume and "be" that person (answer questions) at the symposium. it was a LOT of work, and son picked Hokusai (Japanese artist) who is his FAVORITE person to date and the person he most wants to be like when he grows up (he's getting really good at his art).

SO. symposium from 4-630. on a thursday. he really wanted me AND his dad to go. dad had a doctor apt with new wife for new baby at 230...they'd try to make it (even my longest dr apt didn't last 4 hours). so. i go. i'm freaked out because i don't do well with large groups of strangers, especially when most of them are dressed up in some of the most random (and freaky looking) costumes you've ever seen shoved in one tiny school room (picture HALF of a standard middle school gym). it was great, he was excited to show off his costume, show me his web page (he searched for and loaded over 20 pictures on to his page plus information). and guess what...dad was a no-show. sad.

so. after it's all said and done, son says he's mad at dad. i can understand that. he's 10. this was a big deal for him. disappointment sucks. he asked if he could send his dad a text to tell him he was upset. sure. i'm a believer that kids are fully allowed to have and express their emotions. i may not always agree with his emotions or be happy about the way he chooses to express them, but he's entitled to them. the following is the text conversation with dad:

son: i am mad at you for not coming. it was really inportant to me ]:

dad: you are not the only member of this family

son: neither are you

dad: when you are ready to talk about this, i am

son: it was INPORTANT!!!!!!!!

dad: your mom can make arrangements to drop you off with my parents if you are going to act like this. i though you could be more mature than this.

dad: it's spelled important

wow. okay. the mama bear is so coming out in me. what you also missed is that between the last important from son and the rant from dad there was a LONG phone call with son in tears the instant the phone started ringing. to sum up dad said that if he missed the baby appointment he would be in the dark (because wife couldn't tell him about it afterwords???) and it was more important than some school thing (yes, some school thing). he went on to tell son he was acting immature and childish. umm...i'm sorry...HE'S TEN. he's allowed to be a little childish at times because...wait for it....HE IS A CHILD. you asshat. as to acting immature...who's the one arguing with a ten year old about how to spell important?? and refusing to drive him to meet the grandparents NEXT weekend because he's mad?? talk about a hissy fit! sheesh! i mean REALLY?? this was IMPORTANT to son. i get that the baby is important too, i get that it's a hard call to make, but i'm sure the appointment didn't last the WHOLE time of the symposium (it was probably over before the symposium started) and even if it did, HE'S not the prego one, he could have left and been filled in later. even if it was an ultrasound (which it wasn't, just a regular apt) they would have filmed it and he could have watched the dvd later. i mean COME ON. the sad thing is that this is just a sign of what's to come when the baby gets here. it's what i've been afraid of since they said the stick turned pink. son is already getting shoved off to the side and told he's not as important as new baby. and i get that it's their first. they're building their own new little family. but you already have another son...i get that he's not BOTH of theirs, but he's already here and he IS important. and this was a big deal to him. he's been working on it for months.

and a REALLY BIG part of me wants to call dad and rip into him a little bit. but it won't do any good. phone call would go like this:

me: you were very inappropriate with your son last night.

him: you don't know everything. call me when you're ready to have an adult conversation. *HANG UP*

(yes, he's pulled that on me several times already followed by months of refusing to talk to me and telling son what a bitch i am...yes, he calls me a bitch to our son)

so. for now i'm supporting son. he cried quite a bit last night. it was HEART BREAKING. and i told him that it was fine that he was upset and i was proud of him for telling his dad that he was upset (usually he's too scared to say anything...i understand why). he said he wanted to talk to the counselor at school today and i said that would probably be a good idea. and we'll order a pizza and do a gilmore girls marathon this weekend (i'm not ashamed to say my son is addicted to gilmore girls like me...he likes kirk). we'll make funny faces at each other and i'll make him clean his room then he'll be mad at me too. this too shall pass. at least i'm not the most hated one this week! YES!