audacity? stupidity? both?

yesterday afternoon i received a text message from my brother.

this is strange for several reasons:

#1 i only talk to my brother about 4 times a year. a random tuesday in november is not one of those 4 times.

#2 my brother is OLD SCHOOL. like severely old school. still uses a flip phone old school for him to TEXT? unheard of.

#3 the message: “you missing a smart watch?”

on so many levels, WHAT??

pause, reread, WHAT??

a smart watch? i mean, i HAD a smart watch, years ago. but is it missing? i don’t know? it was literal YEARS ago.

some dude called my brother, left a voicemail that he had found my smartwatch in the trash, found my brother’s number, called.

WHAT. THE. FUCK? 

so i call verizon.

hey verizon- can you look up on my account when i had a smart watch?

purchased: 2019

deactivated: 12/2022

it’s been deactivated for 3 years. and i KNOW when i deactivated it i did a factory reset on it. so. WHAT THE FUCK??

my brother sends me the voicemail from the dude. i call dude and leave a voicemail for him.

6:20 last night dude calls me back:

hey, i found your smartwatch dumpster diving at this apartment building.

THE APARTMENT I JUST MOVED OUT OF.

i found it about 3 weeks ago.

WHEN I WAS MOVING.

yeah, i dumpster dive all the time and find stuff people throw away and sell it. i found your watch and when i turned it on it had a lock screen but i could see the emergency contact information so i called it.

WHAT. THE. HOLY. FUCK??

so much for a factory reset? like. shouldn’t ALLLLLLLL that information have been removed? like WHAT THE FUCK VERIZON?

also, the sheer audacity. or stupidity. or both.

that apartment ALWAYS. ALWAYS. had people in the dumpster. ALWAYS. it was a constant issue. it changed the way i approach trash. it changed WHAT i throw away. it changed WHEN i could throw things away. i would make sure to only take my trash out on monday mornings at 7:30am because the trash truck came monday mornings at 8. i made sure to peel the labels off EVERYTHING so my name and address wasn’t just floating out there. **SIDE NOTE: online ordering/pick up is amazing, do they have to put my name on EVERY. FUCKING. BAG. with stickers that won’t come off?** i would cut up the fake credit cards in those shitty constant spammy offers, just in case. i would tear everything with ANY personal information into tiny shreds (or take it to work and literally shred it). i LOATHED that there were constantly people in the dumpsters.

my trash consisted of 80% potty pads from stella and 20% trash from the house. that’s DISGUSTING to dig through. used potty pads? ugh. the smell alone.

and this dude was openly admitting to digging through it, TO SELL THINGS.

i don’t even remember throwing the watch away. if anything it was maybe in one of the bags that was purge stuff that wasn’t quite good enough to donate (no one wants leggings with  mouse holes in them or sheets that were used as stella bedding). i’m sure it was something that i maybe glanced at, realized it wasn’t working at all when i deactivated it years ago, why put it in a box and take it to a new house?

but that this dude DUG IT OUT, CHARGED IT, TRACKED ME DOWN, and then had the audacity to ask if i remembered the password so he could unlock it and sell it?

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST, FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF.

no, you can’t have the password. smash it with a hammer. it was bricked out 3 years ago to begin with, you DUG THROUGH A DUMPSTER to find it, you dug through MY PERSONAL TRASH to find it, you VIOLATED MY PRIVACY tracking me down through emergency contacts, and you want me to just give you the password so you can try to sell it to someone?

FUCK. ALL. THE. WAY. OFF.

fuck i hated that building. dumpster divers were CONSTANT. all day, all night. didn’t matter what time i got home or left, there was someone digging through it, fenty folding next to it, or camped out in the alleyway next to it.

also: fuck apple and fuck verizon. what the fuck good is a FACTORY RESET if it still leaves information on the device??

as a domestic violence survivor? as an intimate partner abuse survivor? as a rape survivor? as someone who has been threatened with death from men SO MANY TIMES…are you fucking kidding me?

some dude digging through a dumpster can just track me down? from a 6 year old smart watch? that was disconnected 3 years ago? that was factory reset??

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?

fuck verizon. fuck apple. fuck that building. fuck that shitty dumpster. fuck all of it.

AND ALSO:

thank you to the universe for keeping me safe for 6 years. thank you for not having this happen while i was still living there.

it’s fascinating that as soon as i asked the universe to remove the wards from that building and place them on my new home it INSTANTLY showed how protected i’d been. it makes me feel even safer in my new home. the wards obviously work. very, very well. thank you to my guardians. my ancestors. my protectors. my hell hounds. thank you for keeping me safe for the last 6 years. of all the things that happened in that shit building? i was remarkably safe through all of it. yes, i had death threats. yes, there were multiple dead bodies. yes, there were people breaking in through the fire escapes and the roof access and the main doors CONSTANTLY. in the 6 years i was there, i only had 2 unexpected knocks at my door: one from a neighbor who thought he could flirt, the other from another neighbor needing some help. for all the drug dealing and human trafficking and theft and destruction, i was remarkably safe. my car was gone through a few times but never damaged. i was threatened a few times but never harmed. my guardians have been working hella overtime the last 6 years. i hope this new place gives them a bit of a break.

speaking of the new place: all the boxes are empty. all the plants are in their new spaces. all the decorating things have found their new homes. all the things are put away. all but hanging art is done. i’ve met most of my new neighbors now. there’s the nice older gentleman that just moved in who was raking the leaves off the sidewalk. there’s the nice lady about my age with a pure black english bulldog named fat mama. there’s the two nice early 30’s gals above me that have 2 cats. there’s the single guy from iowa who is a regular at my bar. that’s 5 our of 7 units and the one across from me is empty right now, so basically everyone. my mail has been re-routed and the key on the box has been replaced. my first maintenance request is already completed. it is SO FANTASTIC. 

I KNOW (almost) ALL MY NEIGHBORS. and they’re nice, normal people. i’m settled in and so happy. 

as mad as i am about the smartwatch, i’m also that grateful for my new space. life is all about balance i guess.

chapter 45

 

well.

45 sure has started off with a bang.

october was a month.

october was a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG month. 

it started with letting go of stella and ended with moving.

that’s a lot of change and letting go and literally moving on for ONE. FUCKING. MONTH.

i really hope november lets me take a moment to catch my breath.

i will say though: through it all, i am so eternally grateful to the universe for how well it all went.

i moved in 2 hours.

TWO. HOURS.

that’s insane.

7 people in total, myself, my partner, a co-worker, my kid, and his crew of helpers.

TWO. HOURS.

two trucks, one trailer, and several trips in the mini cooper. parking directly out front of the new place for unloading. everyone showed up on time, got to work, hammered it out (and back in) in TWO. HOURS. 

now that it’s all done and over and i’m not going to jinx anything: the lease worked out. the new manager was on time with the keys. the weather was PERFECT. after a solid week of rain i had 2 days of perfect weather: no rain, no snow, no blazing sun, just a happy goldilocks JUST RIGHT. no injuries. NO INJURIES. third floor. satan’s staircase. multiple trips by multiple people. NO INJURIES. i had exactly the right number of boxes to get all the plants out on the last trip. the only thing broken in sacrifice to the moving gods was a $20 mirror. I CAN DEAL WITH THAT. i plugged in my router at the new place and the internet worked. i turned on the floorboards and the heat worked. i plugged in lamps and the eclectic worked. my furniture fits EXACTLY in the new place. i mean EXACTLY. to the perfect inch.

no more drug dealers. no more squatters. no more dumpster divers. no more freezing all winter. no more sirens. no more parking lot lights and flood lights and building lights.

this was, in every possible sense of the experience, the perfect move. everyone met up at 11 and we were having pizza and beer by 1.

i am so insanely grateful. the universe aligned exactly and i am SO GRATEFUL.

friends and one of my bosses help with money. my brother not only sent me money, he didn’t even lecture me first AND wished me a “happy new chapter.” the same brother that called me a frog with a lighter under my ass once upon a time. no lecture, financial help, AND good wishes? amazing. 

a friend offered a hot tub night on saturday that was MUCH NEEDED. i was able to get sunday off work to be able to unpack. i had enough time to get enough things put away that i was able to get ready for work this morning without stepping over any boxes. AND MAKE COFFEE. coffee in the new place on a monday morning before work without stepping over boxes. that’s a good start to the week.

i am so grateful for how this weekend went.

in all my moves (so many moves), this one was by far the best and easiest.

i am so grateful.

i’ve met several of the new neighbors- one has an english bulldog named fat mama. broke my heart and healed it all at the same time. one of my neighbors spent sunday clearing the leaves off the sidewalk. already 100000000% improvement.

october was a kick in the teeth.

for sure.

but sometimes i think you need a kick in the teeth to remind you to get up out of the dirt. why are your teeth at kicking level girl? it might be time to elevate.

i did some full moon work last thursday and the message was loud and clear:

There is a new foundation. You are disconnecting and disengaging from an old way of being. The Taurus full moon focuses on home, routine, security, foundation, food, and cooking.

Are you really comfortable? Or just in your comfort zone?

Give yourself the ability to see life in a new way.

You’ve paid off old karma, it’s time to open up a new timeline.

YOU DON’T KNOW ME! good lord. not even a single ounce of energy spent trying to deny the universe speaking DIRECTLY TO ME on that one. (source: Chris Corsini Full Moon In Taurus workshop).

the number 9 in numerology is all about endings. 4+5=9. 2+0+2+5=9. that’s a LOT of endings all coming together at the same time.

i’m ready for new beginnings. i’m ready for a new timeline. i’m ready to get up out of the dirt and see what comes next.

chapter 45 started with a bang.

let’s see where it goes now.