"Seller is a witch..."

Two years ago I bought a house.

There is not one decision in my life I regret more.

Since the day the keys were handed to me until today, it has been nothing but an albatross. There have been endless problems with contractors, getting projects finished, and most recently: realtors.

In April this year I decided to sell the house. It was a HARD decision I struggled with for quite a while, but up went the listing on Zillow.

After a few days a realtor contacted me about listing the house for me. A contract was signed, a sign went up, there were moderate stats on viewings, very few showings, a few abysmal open houses, and that realtor was let go very swiftly. It was not a great start.

Within a few days of posting on Twitter that the first agent was gone, I was contacted by the Social Media Manager for @509properties (SeeToddSell) representing 509 Properties, a branch of Keller Williams.

I was put in contact with an agent, we discussed the listing, and made an appointment to list my house through 509 Properties.

Real Estate Agent Toni Alltus came to the house and met with me in person to discuss the listing and sign a new contract. We discussed my issues with the old agent (the prior agent didn't feel comfortable showing the house), the lack of viewings and ways to draw more attention, all the tactics that 509 Properties would use to sell the house, and the price. I agreed to lower the listing from $150k to $145k to start the new listing and to lower it again to $140k in two weeks if there was no response.

After meeting with Toni, I was very excited about the listing. She had great ideas that were out of the box and aggressive. She seemed to understand my desire to sell the house FAST, and seemed to have a bulldog personality that would really get things done.

The initial week there were 114 online viewings of the house and Toni had one showing.

Not a bad start.

After the second week there were no additional responses, so as agreed, I dropped the listing to $140 (which actually ended up being $139,900 to "get in under the search cap").

After that things QUICKLY went south.

Each week I was receiving calls and mailings from another listing agency about my house that didn't sell- was it still for sale? They had interested buyers!

It was obviously canned messages from an agency picking through failed listings. Mine must have been on the list from the first agent fiasco, but why was it STILL on the list weeks into the new agent?

I called Toni and was assured my house was actively listed and the other agency was breaking the law calling me, there was nothing to worry about.

Two days after that I had TWO calls for showing; the first calls since Toni's initial showing. Maybe it was just a coincidence. I don't know.

Along those lines, I decided to check the online listings and see if I could find it listed for sale, just to make sure.

Here's what I found on Zillow (one of the largest online listing sources):

Yes, that says FORECLOSURE. The house I paid CASH for, listed as a foreclosure. Now Zillow isn't known to be the most accurate all the time, they've had estimates that don't exactly make sense, they had the wrong pictures for my house after I bought it, it's an imperfect site.

However- I know the house was listed, updated, pictures corrected, neighborhood information added, local schools tagged, and the sales estimate (and county estimate) updated. HOW? Because I did it all myself when I initially listed the house before ANY agents touched it; that's how the first agent found me.

Suddenly now with 509 Properties it's listed as a foreclosure?

That's one of the best selling points on this house: there's no mortgage to deal with. That's why it hadn't sold when I bought it- it had been listed as a repo by the VA and their financing blocked a few sales before my cash offer. I currently own it free and clear. Wrote the biggest check of my life two years ago for it. Yet here's is listed as a foreclosure which scares away plenty of prospective buyers. Excellent.

The next several weeks didn't go any better. The six weeks after the initial burst there were a total of 106 viewings (220 for all 7 weeks total).

 Around week 5 I spoke with Toni again and she suggested adding a 1k selling bonus (on top of the contracted 3%) to whichever agent sold the house. She was also offering a $10 coffee card for anyone that did a showing. I agreed to the selling bonus, but still no results.

All said and done, in the 7 weeks of listings there were 5 showings total (Toni's initial one and four from other agents), zero feed back from any of the showings, and zero offers.

Needless to say, I was less than thrilled at the results. I was watching money disappear through lowering the price and the selling bonus but not seeing any feedback or forward movement.

Frustrated, stressed out, angry, I went to my Twitter account and posted the following two tweets on Monday of this week (8/19):

I'm not new to social media. I'm also not out to sink anyone's business or slander anyone's name. I was VERY SPECIFIC in not listing Toni specifically or tagging @509Properties in either of my tweets. I made sure to edit out any company information in the picture I posted of the stats (same stat picture above) specifically trying to NOT link their business to my frustration. The ONLY links in my Twitter feed to 509 Properties are when their Social Media Manager posted the listing to my house and @'ed my Twitter handle.

**Side note: the Social Media Manager tagging me in the Twitter and FaceBook listings, without my permission, was, in my opinion, very inappropriate. My social media feed is personal, not professional in any way. It says that specifically in my profile. My feed on both FaceBook and Twitter is FILLED with my frustrations over the house, repairs, etc. over the years. It is NOT what you want prospective buyers to see. Second: it directly links me to an EXACT address. It lets anyone in the social media sphere know EXACTLY where my children and I live. Over the years I've listed my house on several social media sites (FaceBook, Foursquare, Twitter), but only in generalities (cross streets, "north of the river", etc.); I've made it a point to never list my EXACT address. Finally, statistically speaking, posting a real estate listing on social media has been proven as not only the least effective way to attract clients, but also the fastest way to be ignored or blocked for spam. Not the results you want.**

Tuesday afternoon, 8/20 I was driving to pick up my oldest son and a call came in from Toni. I sent the call to voicemail since I was driving, and a new voicemail notification popped up letting me know she had left a message. I planned on checking the voice mail while I waited for my son.

Instead, less than two minutes later two Twitter notifications popped up on my phone:

Shortly thereafter, a new email notification popped up on my phone as well.

I took a deep breath, drafted an email response, had a friend review it, and mailed it back to Toni.

I tried to be very professional, stick to facts, explain my side, but stick to my guns. I had been drafting an email asking the company to release my listing and explaining why since posting my two tweets, but had not finished or sent the email. This exchange reaffirmed my decision to remove the house.

Toni responded to my email later the same evening:

I decided to leave well enough alone even though there was plenty I disagreed with in Toni's second email (an agent afraid to pass along potential buyer feedback?), try to keep things professional, and release the listing as quickly and cleanly as possible.

Friday morning (8/23), Toni stopped by my house with the release document that I quickly signed, she removed the lock box, and we parted ways what I believed to be amicably.

That afternoon I received an email notification that there was feeback response to a showing. Apparently opening/removing the lock box had triggered the email notification that there was a new showing and provided an opportunity for feedback.

I chuckled lightly to myself that there was finally feedback on a showing, but it was only when the lock box was removed.

Then I read the review that was left by Toni, after removing the lock box, and stopped laughing:

That brings us to now. I mentioned before that I'm not out to sink anyone's business. I'm not. If the final review had not come in, I would have let the whole issue drop and just considered it a hard lesson learned.

BUT.

You can't do that. You can't leave feedback like that as a professional and expect to get away with it. Am I a difficult client? Probably. I know what I bought my house for, how much I've put into it with repairs and upgrades, and what return I would like on it.**(see below). I'm very firm on that and I can fully understand it is probably as frustrating on the agents side as it is on my side.
 
Additionally, I have a very strong personality and stand up for myself and speak my mind. So yes, some people probably consider me difficult. Some people obviously consider me a "witch." Many people consider me things much stronger than that.

That's fine.

But as a professional, to call your client a witch and say they're unrealistic, even if you believe it's only in an email only they will see, is unacceptable.

So here I am, strong "witch" personality and all, calling out, using actual names, listing the business, letting people know: THIS IS HOW 509 PROPERTIES TREATS THEIR CLIENTS.

My house listing has been removed as of Friday, the sign will be out of my yard as of Monday, and hopefully very few of those signs will appear in any yards, anywhere in town. 



**House listed in 2011 at $140k with unfinished kitchen, main bathroom with severe water damage, back deck that did not pass home insurance inspection. Purchased for $89k cash due to repo status/pending auction. Finished/upgraded kitchen, completely redid main bathroom (from the floor joists to the insulation in the attic, everything in-between), brand new expanded back deck, several other repairs/upgrades. Additionally the market has improved since 2011 (currently best in 5 years). I firmly believe I should be able to list at what it was originally listed at in 2011, if  not slightly more.

popped that cherry

so, this weekend i popped my cherry.

bet you didn't think i had any left to pop, did you?

this was my...fuck...i don't even know what to call it...drag racing? funny cars? something. i don't know. the thing where's there's a 1/4 mile track and all different cars see how loud and obnoxious they can be on it.

and something about speed.

it wasn't NASCAR. i know that much. straight track vs oval track. i did one of those races in oregon when i was a kid with my dad.

just now remembered that.

strange piece of flashback shrapnel.

i love you dad.

ANYTWADDLE.

the boyfriend invited me to go out to the race track with him this weekend.

there's SO MUCH i learned in one night.


first, it's LOUD.

i mean L.O.U.D.

i mean literal jet engines less than 100 yards away from you SCREAMING LOUD.

when we got there i was thinking: "hell, i've worked in a power plant, been around welding, fabrication, heavy equipment. i've been to concerts, motocross events, children's school concerts, how much worse could it be?"

answer: WHAT???? 

it was LOUD.

when you see burly "real men" (you know what i mean) walking around and they apparently can't afford a shirt but sure as hell can afford ear plugs and unabashedly wear them THE WHOLE TIME, you know it's loud.

at least MOST (not all, asshole parents) kids had noise cancelling headphones on thankfully. some did not. i'm guessing those are the same families where graduating the 3rd grade is still an accomplishment and all the edjumication anyone really needs.

to those kids i say this: next time ya'll go to a "fancy" dinner a chuck e cheese, WASH OFF THE STAMP. trust, whomever steals you is better than your asshole parents.

#2: i finally know who the assholes are that keep the flash/scratch "tattoo artists" in business. never in my life have i seen so many shitty tattoos in one place. yes, sir, that is a particularly spectacular loony tunes character. yes, i'm sure Yosemite Sam is your spirit guide.

now i do admit that i'm a bit of a tattoo snob. I KNOW: to each their own, and i'm sure that completely generic butterfly tramp stamp has all sorts of special meaning. i just can't help but be a firm believer in tattoos having a LITTLE bit of quality since it will be on your skin forever. i also can't help but believe that 2x2x$20 needs to die in scratcher hell. the sooner the better.

just because your buddy is "really good" at drawing and was able to mail order a machine DOES NOT mean you should let him permanently mar your skin in his kitchen on a drunken sunday night.

#3: ladies, you'll be glad to know: THE SCRUNCHIE IS STILL IN.

that's right. if you want a fancy pony tail, don't bother looking up ways to tease, part, pin, anything on pinterest. your answer is probably still hiding somewhere in the deep confines of your bathroom cabinet. nothing says SUPER SEXY like a wadded up piece of material that TOTALLY matches your outfit. that's right. just pull your severely damaged by box color hair up into a hasty mess somewhere between pebbles and softball player and secure with a nice scrunchie. BAM. victorias secret should be calling any time.

bonus points for rocking the side pony with a scrunchie. sadly, i did not see any of those. total disappointment.

#4: you're not a REAL couple until you have matching hair.

oh yeah.. MATCHING. HAIR.

his and hers, mid back, muddy brown electrical shock "curly" (i mean..i guess that's what it's closest to?) hair.

yeah.

THAT HAPPENED.

only thing i can even imagine that would be better is his and hers mullets. i've seen pictures, but to spot a pair of those in the wild would be nothing short of a miracle.

sadly, the boyfriend and i will never be a REAL couple. he's rocking the mr. clean look and i'm rocking an amazingly red mid shoulder length. drat. (seriously, not to brag, but this red is fucking amazing. i have the best colorist/stylist OF ALL TIME. see? it matches the octopus!).



back to the list. #what the fuck ever.

auto racing? fucking COOL.

aside from the rednecks, aside from WAY too many people without shirts, aside from the shitty tattoos and over prices drinks ($6.50 for a water and a soda?? SERIOUSLY? after a $25 admission ticket??) racing is fucking cool to watch.

the cars are amazing to look at, the mechanics behind the races are mind-blowing (did you know they do a FULL ENGINE rebuild between every race?), the pit crews and spotters and teams are entrancing to watch, then there's the actual races.

the science behind burn outs, the conditions of the track, the weather, humidity, barometric pressure, EVERYTHING that goes into a 6.85 second race. it's fucking cool.

plus, some of them shoot fire.

i mean. FIRE.

it was a really fun night. watching the races, feeling the different engines (yes, you can FEEL some of them rattle you in the stands), just being OUT.

which is another thing. some intentional, some unintentional, i'm (sorry, sappy moment ahead) so grateful for my friends the last few weeks. from phone calls checking in, text messages, face book messages, people coming over for dinner or inviting me over to hang out, making plans, getting me out of the house, it's been a literal life saver the last several days.

sappy crap over.

RACING. if it's around you anywhere, go check it out. it really is a fun experience. i was told that i could even race my caliber on some of the open race nights...hmmm....

not great

this last week has been really hard.

as in i typed that sentence then stared at my screen for almost an hour because i couldn't type any more.

today is the third anniversary of losing my dad.

three years.

this year has been worse than any of the other years.

the last week i have been on the verge of tears CONSTANTLY. i've been wicked snappy and grumpy.

i just- i don't know.

maybe it's the frustration of nothing happening with the house. maybe it's the stress of job hunting. maybe it's realizing that i really do suck at this finding a significant other thing (even when i honestly try).

maybe it's all of it, maybe it's none of it.

maybe it's finally having the time for all the emotions i've been avoiding for three years.

i couldn't have a break down after my dad died. i couldn't sit all day and stare at nothing. i had to go to work, take care of kids, DO THINGS.

now...i work all of 10 hours a week. that translates into a LOT of free time. one spawn is gone for the summer, the other (when not asking annoying questions) is able to take care of himself for the most part. i don't have places to go or people to see. i just have...time.

time to think about how much i've fucked up over the last three years.

time to think about how much i miss my dad. how long it's been since i talked to him. time to think about how disappointed he would be to see where i am now. and i know he would still love me and support me, but i know he would also be disappointed in me. i haven't done anything. i haven't accomplished anything. i bought a house i hate. i quit a stable job to drift. and i'm still drifting, and it's getting scary. i still can't make the relationship thing work. i still haven't figured out where i want to be in the future or how to get there.

and then there's these out of the blue moments that sock you right in the gut- like watching a stupid sitcom and the character's dad dies and you can't breathe watching how they write the storyline of people trying to handling it.

and then there's moments of watching one of your good friend go into labor and have a baby and you realize how damn lucky you are that you had kids young and at least they had a few years of getting to know their grandpa.

and moments of watching a tv show with a fire scene that almost makes you throw up and not be able to sleep for a week.

and moments of trying to explain what happened to someone new and still not understanding it yourself.

and moments of needing a hug. 

and moments of wanting to rip the arm off anyone who tries to touch you.

and moments of friends checking in when you can barely get a word out to pretend you're ok.

and moments when you can't pretend anymore.

it's been a long week.

and i'm sitting here. just. wrecked.

and not sure how to put the pieces back together. wondering why it took three years to catch up to me. and wondering why i couldn't just stuff it down a little while longer.

i'm having a hard time.

it's a bad day after a long week.

and i know tomorrow will be a different day. and i know that eventually things will not be this hard. or i'll learn how to deal with them better or SOMETHING will be different. 

but today i'm not great.

stuck

i've been wandering around in this land of nothing for the last few weeks- only working one day a week, working on the house as i'm able (or help is available), just...drifting. there's been plenty of wasted time thanks to netflix and...honestly, i'm not sure what else.

i have worked on thinning out the crap that's stacked up around the house- furniture, clothes, STUFF, endless piles of STUFF that's accumulated over the last two years despite best efforts to routinely clean out and donate to arc or value village or give it away to people that might have a need. good god...SO MUCH STUFF. stupid consumer mindset.

anyway. i'm a fan of the drifting. it's nice to not HAVE to do things, but at the same time...i have no idea what i want to do. i have no idea what i want from a LOT of things.

but drifting only gets you so far. and it gets old QUICK.

i've never been a 10 year plan kinda gal. i've never been a corporate climber or one of those people with nine billion business ideas but no time to do them. hell, all i have lately is time and no ideas.

i still don't really know what i want to be when i grow up- i know what i'm good at, i know what i enjoy doing, but none of those things are what i could see myself doing day after day until the time social security (if it still exists then) kicks in.

i love writing- but do i want to do it every day under deadline and with other people editing/critiquing constantly? i honestly don't know.

i love making jewelry. doesn't exactly pay the bills.

i'm a damn good secretary but i tend to get bored sitting at the same desk pushing the same papers day after day.

so today i'm sitting here thinking about what i want.

********************
ok. so i started this blog a few weeks ago and circled back to it again today. i did not change ONE. SINGLE. THING. all the feelings are the same, everything is the same.

WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

i means i haven't pulled myself out of my funk yet.

it means i'm wallowing.

pigs wallow.

in mud.

and poop.

ew.

so. if nothing else, the funk has gotten worse over the last few weeks which makes me want to haul my ass out even more.

the last week has been especially hard- everything around me is changing.

friends are starting school or finishing school or off to start new careers. new babies are arriving. relationships are changing. friends are reaching their AMAZING career goals (side note: sitting with a great friend when they get the job offer of a life time is an amazing moment).

it sounds strange, but my #wednesdaynightshenannigans coming to an end this week hit particularly hard. see, if you haven't been properly stalking me for the last 2.5 years then what you don't know is that every wednesday i have MY bar, MY band, MY night out. it's been the same place and time and band every wednesday (as much as possible anyway) for TWO AND A HALF years. that ended this week. the band is going through some changes and it this week was the last performance in this bar on wednesdays.

YES, the bar will still be there. YES, they'll still have music. YES, my band is still playing (in different locations with a new guitar player). so the world isn't ENDING, but pretty damn close.

it was just...this moment. the end of an era. one more in a series of changes while i'm stuck sitting still.

and i feel STUCK.

i'm waiting...

waiting to hear back from resumes sent out. waiting for the house to sell. waiting for the teenage spawn to decide where he wants to live. waiting...waiting...waiting.

and i'm TRYING to do things. i've got the house as finished as possible to sell. i'm sending out applications and kicking buckets. i'm talking to the spawn and helping him reason through things.

but NOTHING is happening.

and i'm just.

STUCK.

and everything around me is changing and growing and taking shape.

and here i am.

and it sucks.

and i think the hardest thing is that i still DON'T KNOW what exactly i'm looking for. i don't know where i want to be. i don't know.

i don't know if i want to stay in spokane.

i don't know if i still want to be a secretary.

i don't know if it's better for the teenager to be with me or his dad at this point.

i just...don't know.

and it's hard to get traction to do anything when you do know what the thing is you want to do.

and i feel like i'm SO CLOSE to something. i feel like there's this huge moment just around the corner, but i can't quite round it yet.

i'm just.

frustrated.

and i know that when i'm frustrated is when i need to write the most. and i haven't even been doing that. and i say i will. and i have a million ideas of things to write about. but by the time i sit down to do it i'd rather browse hours of nothingness on netflix instead.

yes, i realize how lame that is.

i need some kind of a kick in the ass. i need something to connect. and i know when it does it will be excellent. hell, my fortune cookie told me so, see:

i just need to unstuckify myself.

so. if you need me, i'll be over here with the proverbial crow bar.

in the mean time...any writing suggestions? questions about anything that i can answer in long vomitous rambling form?